Learn how to move past self-sabotaging behavior . . .

You may be working to lose weight because

you’ve faced a life threatening illness, quit drinking alcohol after years of struggling to be sober or find the romantic partner who you’ve dreamed about your whole life.  You have made great strides in losing weight having lost 50 lbs., been sober for nearly a year or finally gathered up the courage to get out to a social venue to meet your dream partner.  Just when you think you're on your way to reaching your goals, you reach for the those 2  extra fudge brownies, martini cocktail or ignore the call from the person who you had a great time with and who expressed interest in you after your night out on the town.   If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

Self-sabotage behavior frequently occurs when you ARE making significant progress and are aligned with your life’s deepest desires.  What may seem like regression or being “stuck” in a pattern of behavior that does not serve you, actually is a mechanism of self-protection.  As you work on your goals and face the unfamiliar (e.g., getting attention from interested romantic suitors, refusing the cocktail from a friend you  are used to spending time with, saying to no to the host who baked the brownies and is a good colleague at work ), you may experience discomfort, feel “unworthy” and experience guilt.  So rather than accept these experiences, you engage in behaviors that are familiar and comfortable.  

In order to move past your self-sabotage behavior patterns, you need to recognize that it is occurring because you’ve faced and overcome similar situations in your past.   Once you understand that you are not “stuck” and that your behavior is your mind’s way of keeping you safe, it is important that you embrace your uncomfortable feelings or thoughts without self-judgment.  By learning to mindfully accept your discomfort and adopting an attitude of curiosity and compassion, you will be able to more effectively respond to the unfamiliar situations that will invariable show up because you are now a different person.  

Once you have embraced being curious, reflect on what you need in order to feel safe and be true in your life in order reach your goals.  Very often, your life structure or fear of change keeps you from making bigger changes in your life (e.g., addressing your work colleagues who know that you are trying to lose weight, finding new friends to socialize with who do not drink alcohol, learning to first love yourself) that you need to lose those last 10 lbs., celebrate your sobriety or be with your dream partner.  

To your health,

Dr. Sandoval

To learn more about how working with a psychologist and holistic health coach can help you to enhance your health and well being, call or email Dr. Sandoval to schedule a free consultation.

The information, published and/or made available through the www.fullofradiance.com website, is not intended to replace the services of a physician, nor does it constitute a physician-patient relationship. This blog is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. You should not use the information in this post for diagnosing or treating a medical or health condition. You should consult a physician in all matters relating to your health, particularly in respect to any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention.  Any action on the reader’s part in response to the information provided in this blog is at the reader’s discretion.

What’s YOUR life’s purpose?

If you're like most people, the holidays are

loads of fun and may mean lots of time catching up with friends and family as well as a lot of good food.  With all the holiday parties, sweet indulgences and merry "toasts" to celebrate the fast approaching New Year, it's easy to get off track with your health and well-being.  2015 is right around the corner and if you're like most people you'll set new resolutions believing that you’ll finally achieve your desired goal (e.g., losing those stubborn 10 lbs. that don’t seem to ever go away, finally quitting smoking or having your last drink of alcohol).  

While setting a resolution for the new year may lead to short term gains, it is unlikely to lead your to your desired outcome without having a deeper life purpose.  The reality is that 95% of people who go on a diet will gain all the weight they lost within 5 years.  In order to reach your goals and commit long term, it is essential that you dig deep within to understand what makes you feel alive, helps you to experience gratitude and makes your life “sweet.” Your life’s purpose and values serve as a compass to you and will help you to experience vitality.  You may want to lose weight in order to play with your children, quit smoking so that you can jog outdoors and spend time with nature or stop drinking because you want to develop intimate relationships with your circle of peers and family.   

Once you have clarity regarding YOUR life’s purpose, set reasonable short term goals that are concrete and begin taking actions steps on them now.  Your values and life’s purpose will energize you to achieve your short term objectives.   Moreover, it is important that you build life structures and scaffolds to support you in obtaining your desired goals and committing long term.  If you want to lose weight, surround yourself with people who will support you and who have similar habits to the ones you wish to cultivate long-term.  If you want to stop smoking or drinking alcohol do not spend time with people who do and may enable you to reach for that last puff or cocktail and instead surround yourself with people who practice yoga or who meditate (e.g. the majority of people who drink alcohol and smoke do so to “blow off steam” and relax). 

As you make progress and move towards committing long-term to what you value, you may find that you have a new circle of friends and lose your ties with old friends.  As you cultivate your willingness to extend beyond your comfort zone and do what is uncomfortable to create lasting change, remember to pause, celebrate and savor each step along your journey.  

To your health,

Dr. Sandoval 

To learn more about how working with a psychologist and holistic health coach can help you to enhance your health and well-being, call or email Dr. Sandoval to schedule a free consultation.  

The information, published and/or made available through the www.fullofradiance.com website, is not intended to replace the services of a physician, nor does it constitute a physician-patient relationship. This blog is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. You should not use the information in this post for diagnosing or treating a medical or health condition. You should consult a physician in all matters relating to your health, particularly in respect to any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention.  Any action on the reader’s part in response to the information provided in this blog is at the reader’s discretion.