If you’re like many people who experience feelings of sadness,
depression or anxiety, you likely get caught up and entangled by your mind’s
nasty and critical stories about you and your life. While it is reasonable and may even be
natural to acknowledge the circumstances, situations or private experiences
that evoke your discomfort or pain, your mind’s unending chatter and focus on
what is wrong with you and your life has many negative effects on your health
as your life narrows to only focusing on what your mind tells you.
Research in the area of Positive Psychology suggests that
by shifting your attention and focusing on your character strengths,
you can create upward spirals that will lead to a life time of authentic happiness.1,2, Fortunately, shifting your attention and noticing
what is going well in your life and celebrating your successes is simply a
matter of being G.L.A.D. every day.
To help you experience more authentic happiness, keep a
journal and write about what it is that you . . .
GRATITUDE: Each day
you have experiences and situations that you can appreciate for which you can
experience gratitude. When you begin
writing in your journal write about what you feel grateful for it may be challenging for you
because your mind incessantly focuses on what disturbs you or is wrong with
your life. The fact is that everyone who
is alive has a reason to feel grateful.
You may simply begin by writing about how you are grateful that you can
be grateful. Appreciate the simplicity
of life. Your heart beats over 100,000 a
day without you consciously telling it do so. The fact that you have a roof over your head,
food to eat and clean water to bathe with each day. The rising of the sun each day. Your friends and family. In counting your blessings, start by focusing
on what you are capable of doing.
Many psychological
studies have found that when you cultivate gratitude you are more likely to
also be happier, cope more adaptively and increase your relationships with the
people who are dear to you.3,4,5,6 You
are also less likely to get stressed or depressed and will engage in fewer
negative coping behaviors, such as substance abuse. Acknowledging the positive aspects in
your life can be challenging; particularly, when your mind focuses or holds on
to uncomfortable and painful emotions like sadness, fear and shame.
As part of your evening ritual to
retire to bed, write about 3 aspects in your life for which you
experience gratitude. Keeping a gratitude
journal will help you to experience more positive emotions and reduce painful
feelings like depression.7
LEARNED:
Every day you have experiences,
situations and people that teach you.
Whether you are learning from a school teacher, professor, friend or
simply a life experience, you have boundless opportunities and moments during
which you can learn something new, if you meet each experience with an attitude
of curiosity, openness, and non-judgmentally.
Whether it’s a new book, skill or sage advice and counsel from someone
who you meet during your day or simply an experience during which you learn
something new about yourself, taking in and recognizing that you have learned
something new will help to enhance your level of engagement with life.
According to the PERMA model
developed by the father of Positive
Psychology, Martin Seligman, Ph.D., and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Ph.D., a Positive psychologist, engagement with life and actively immersing
yourself in your experiences leads to a state of flow and is
part of the Good Life.8,9 Being in a state of flow leads to greater
enjoyment, improves your performance and self-efficacy. When you keep a G.L.A.D. journal write about
something that you learned during your day.
ACHIEVED:
You probably do not remember most
of the experiences in your life because they occur mindlessly without your full
conscious awareness. You are; however,
much more likely to remember the events which resulted in a sense of
accomplishment and success. Achieving
small goals each day, such as reading for an hour, walking for 30 minutes, or
writing a page for your new book will help you to identify your strengths and
move forward in your life by taking consistent action when life circumstances
are challenging for you. The sense of accomplishment and success will enhance
your self-esteem, engagement with life and help you to appreciate
yourself. As your self-efficacy
improves, you will be more resilient in the face of painful or difficult life
situations.10 As part of your G.L.A.D journal, take note of any
goals that you achieved during your day and celebrate each success not matter
how small in may seem to you.
Delighted: In your pursuit of authentic happiness, keeping note of the positive emotions that you experienced during your day is important. When you begin your G.L.A.D. journal make sure that you notice and savor every experience during your day that you were delighted by and enjoyed. This is very different from the pleasure that you experience from fulfilling basic bodily needs like hunger, sleep and sex, the companionship of your family, friends, pets or time spent with nature. Being delighted and enjoyment arise from the pursuit of stimulating activities in which you use your unique strengths, are aligned with your life values and contribute to something greater than you such as when you volunteer your time helping those in need at a shelter home, help to build a house in your community for the improvised, counsel children stricken by grief at your local church because these activities each allow you to express your compassion and gift for helping others.
1.
Fredrickson, BF
and Joiner, T. “Positive Emotions
Trigger Upward Spirals toward Emotional Well-Being.” Psychological
Science, (2002). 13(2), 172-175.
2.
Seligman, M. E. P. (2004). AuthenticHappiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential forLasting Fulfillment. New York: Free Press
3.
Algoe, SB, Fredrickson,
BL, and Gable, SL. “The social functions
of the emotion of gratitude via expression.” Emotion, (2013)
13(4), 605-609.
4.
Emmons, RA and McCullough,
ME. “Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of
gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life.” Journal of
Personality and Social Psychology, (2003) 84(2), 377-389.
5.
Gordon, AM, Impett, EA,
Kogan, A, Oveis, C, and Keltner, D. “To have and to hold: Gratitude promotes
relationship maintenance in intimate bonds. “ Journal of Personality and
Social Psychology (2012) 03(2) 257-274.
6. Grant, A. M.; Gino, F. “A little thanks goes a long way:
Explaining why gratitude expressions motivate prosocial behavior.” Journal
of Personality and Social Psychology, (2010) 98(6), 946-955.
7. Lyubomirsky,S, Dickerhoof, R, Boehm, JK, Sheldon, KM.
“Becoming happier takes both a will and a proper way: An experimental
longitudinal intervention to boost well-being.” Emotion, (2011)11(2),
391-402.
10. Salanova, M,
Llorens, S, and Schaufeli, WB. “Yes, I Can, I Feel Good, and I Just Do It!” On
Gain Cycles and Spirals of Efficacy Beliefs, Affect, and Engagement.” Journal of Applied Psychology, (2010)
60 (2), 255-285.
To your health,
Dr. Sandoval
To learn more about how working with a psychologist and
holistic health coach can help you to enhance your health and well being, call
or email Dr. Sandoval to schedule a free consultation.
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